Test Rats – Trying Out New Army Exercises

Looking for creative inspiration and a new spin on a workout, Neon found an article on the Army’s new combat fitness test in the WSJ, of all places.

Of the 5 new ‘domains’ the lucky 6 PAX who posted were labs rats for 3. The remaining 2 exercises include maxing out a deadlift and a 250 meter spring/pull/drag shuttle run that required more equipment than was accessible on short notice.

At 5:30AM festivities commenced with a truncated (half ass) disclosure followed by a brief pause to stay clear of an incoming car driven by an unnamed and tardy member (hint: name sounds like Downtown Whirl). The 5 took off on a mosey to the other side of the park.


SSDs, monkey humpers, nordic skiers, Moroccan night clubs, arm circles, and shoulder taps. Mid way through the workout Open House appeared and bolstered attendance by 20%.


The Thang

The PAX convened under a pavilion to try out the new Army “T” push-up, which to the best of Neon’s reckoning, the subject lays face down, pushes up, lowers down and lays on the ground and extends arms out like a “T”. Then back to the start position. Not terribly difficult to do 15 in cadence. The PAX did a series of squats and then ran a quarter mile lap around the infield.

Back to the pavilion for mountain climbers and Carolina dry docks. Run a quarter mile.

Over to the jungle gym to make use of pull up bars for the leg tuck. The leg tuck starts with a straight arm hang and then raising the body up so that arms are at a 90 degree angle. Hold the flex arm hang and pull the knees to the elbows, that’s one. Its a bit harder than the push-ups. Over to the swings for hanging back rows and then a lap around the infield.

Back to the pavilion for star jacks and something else. The next event in lieu of the spring/pull/drag was a sprint, bear, crab walk and sprint up and back across the infield. The PAX did another lap back to the shovel flag for a set of burpees and two rounds of Mary.

If anyone is actually reading this they may have realized that the PAX only did two of the domains (T push up and leg tuck) as documented in this BB. But wait, there’s more! Total running for the morning was a touch over 2 miles, consistent with the 2 mile run as noted in the new Army fitness test.

Announcements / Count-O-Rama / Name-O-Rama

Hawkeye presented a doctor’s note (which happened to be signed by a dentist) requesting that his recent absences be excused due to a fractured knee cap suffered by his wife. He also requested prayers for her healing as she completes outpatient therapy.

COT: 6:15AM


August 5, 2017

Introduction: Disclaimer – F3 is always outdoors, rotationally led, men only, ends with a circle of trust, and each man is responsible for his own workout, so the exercises may be modified as needed.

Warm-O-Rama: Modified shuttle with jogging, high knees, butt-kickers, “open/close the gate” side shuffle, carioca, bending, jumping and backwards jogging and sprinting.  PAX then moseyed to park outbuilding for two sets of descending planks held for a 10 count. BTTW sets were interrupted by the most ridiculous Indian run ever.  PAX performed a line of inch worm exercises while the Six duck-walked to the front. It quacked me up ( I should have shot a video).

This was followed by exercises in cadence including: Abe Vigodas, side straddle hops, seal jacks, American hammers, plank punches, mountain climbers, Peter Parkers, cobra, superman stretch, and some crazy back-twisting yoga pose that defied the laws of physics.

The Thang: “Treasure Hunt” Q referenced Matt 6:19-21, “. . . where your treasure is there your heart will be also.” Q encouraged PAX to add some treasure to their chests, literally and figuratively by exercising and memorizing the inspirational/ motivational quotes found in the treasure chest at one end of the field.  Much to the chagrin of the passing train that attempted to obfuscate all instructions, Q explained the cross-field partner exercises which were also printed on folding chairs at each end of the field.  Cross-field exercises one way included: bear crawl, crab walk, hopping, lunges, backward jogging, imperial walkers, and Frankensteins. Opposite cross-field exercise was 30-30-30, ie. jogging, running, sprinting.  Exercises at the opposite end of the field from the treasure chest were Burpees, Merkins, LBC’s, star jacks, reverse crunches, and squats.

PAX then moseyed back to shovel flag for CoT.
CoT: count-o-rama, name-o-rama, naming of FNG, announcements and prayer requests.

Chicken Wisdom: “A truly rich man is one whose children runs into his arms when his hands are empty.” “Life is about impact, not income.” “Most men are not living their dreams because they are living their fears.” “If you want to build yourself up, build somebody else up first.” “You cannot cross an ocean without first losing sight of the shore.” “The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you figure out why.” “The will to act is primary, the rest is mere tenacity.” “There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.” “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” Joshua 1:9, Hebrews 12:1, Philippians 4:13, and Isaiah 40:31.

1776, Lehigh Valley

The Pax of Lakewood Ranch are embarking on their 1st CSAUP event and we challenge all of Mustard Seed Regions…heck, ALL Regions to join us. Let’s call it a Virtual CSAUP – Just one that doesn’t involve virtual reality!

The Thang

Celebrate our nation’s birthday by tackling a very special challenge:

1776 yard run (1.01 miles)

100 Merkins

100 Overhead Claps

100 LBCs

100 Dips

100 Moroccan Nightclubs

100 Leg Scissors

100 Pullups

100 Stepups

100 Squats

100 American Hammers

100 Mountain Climbers

100 Plank Shoulder Taps

100 Plank Jacks

100 High Knees

Finisher: 100 Yard Bear Crawl to the Shovel Flag (GO USA) and complete 76 Burpees!

Achieve PATRIOT status by splitting the list with one fellow PAX. Both do full bear crawl before sharing the final burpees.

Achieve AMERICAN EAGLE status by going solo!

Challenge commences at 0600 sharp at The Swamp in Macungie Memorial Park.

Test your strength and show your loyalty to your country, surrounded by the fellowship of F3!

Do you have what it takes?



** NOTE: The tags were added to this post for administrative purposes.